Killing Zelda Sparks (Review)

Some movies are a bit too confusing. Killing Zelda Sparks is a prime example of that.

The film starts out with two high school friends, Craig Blackshear (Vincent Kartheiser) and Terry Seville (Geoffrey Arend) working at their day jobs in New Essex, currently under review by their bosses. Craig is a lowlife living a messy lifestyle, but Terry is living the successful perfect life and even has a fiancée.

The two meet up for the first time in a while. After numerous time shifts, (yes, 10 minutes in, the film jumps three years earlier, five hours later, etc.) Craig and Terry talk about Craig’s personal problems and his bad relationship with his girlfriend Ellen (Krystin Pellerin). It goes from a flashback to Craig dating Ellen at a bar called the Sweat Hog, and then flashes back suddenly to high school. Personally I think the editor wasn’t paying attention to their work, with the change of subject to another topic and new character coming out of nowhere.

Craig’s ex-girlfriend, the flashy Zelda Sparks (Sarah Carter), has returned to New Essex and that’s where things get even stranger. After a flashback showing Craig and Zelda attempting to make out in a locker room, it cuts back to Craig’s experience at the Sweat Hog running into Zelda for the first time in a long time. Terry tries to help Craig by giving him advice.

And over and over, it’s a flashback within a flashback, I can’t really describe the whole scenario, so I’ll get straight to the important part afterwards. Together, they go to Ellen’s house so Craig can work things out. However, Craig can’t get Ellen back easily, so he and Terry go to a 24-hour restaurant where they decide to get revenge on Zelda for messing things up for both of them. Suddenly they come up with the best method ever, spreading gossip through a phony news article.

After Craig takes a nap, Terry excitedly states he made an article of gold and leaves without Craig remembering what was going on. Terry sends the story to the press anonymously, and dances like a madman as it gets distributed all around New Essex. From there, things get out of control.

The whole story was just confusing, I don’t know if they were aiming for humorous, horror, or what. The first 30-40 minutes jumped back and forth from one timeline to another and the outcome at the end is just poorly done. Also, I feel the gossip via news article plot has been done to death. This really wasn’t interesting in my opinion.

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