Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love (Review)

I knew this was going to suck. With a title like that, it was sure to suck.

Our film opens up with a nurse named Patsy Powers (Anne Day-Jones) reading a book at a medical party of some sort. Apparently, the appropriately named Nurse Goodie Tueschuze (Samantha Slan) has been promoted to head nurse. But first, let’s have a random Alfred Hitchcock impersonator interrupt the movie and say everything that happens is the simple truth. Thanks, buddy. I’m sure of that.

Next we go to a woodcutter (Eric Kendrick) who captures some tiny animal in a shoebox and when he wakes up next morning, it escapes, and the woodcutter himself walks around numerous landmarks scaring people because of his appearance. Back to the hospital where Patsy is on break and then she’s called in to help operate on the woodcutter who has cheap facial facepaint-like scars of some sort. Top Medical Expert Dr. Dox (Karl Gerhardt) operates on him with a team of quality nurses.

Patsy who once dated Dr. Dox finds a new love in the patient. This doesn’t fly with E.R. Kapotsky, (Roland Laroche) the creepy old janitor as he realizes the patient is a zombie. Patsy goes home and goes to bed, not knowing about Katpotsky’s investigations as he realizes he must kill off the zombie man.

Patsy becomes the woodcutter’s personal nurse and the two seem to be getting closer to each other. However the other nurses mock her about it. Before Patsy knows it, her patient bites her and that can only mean one thing: she’s infected. Kapotsky kills the zombie man in a stereotypical silhouette-on-curtain fashion and that’s the last of our patient. As Patsy stumbles home, the infection takes her over. Guess how far in we are? Only. 15. Minutes.

So how does the rest of the film go? Patsy gets infected and turns into a zombie, who becomes sexier by eating people attracted to her. And all the while, slowly gets more involved in being Dr. Dox’s favourite nurse. And Nurse Goodie wants to catch Patsy.

Okay, it gets a little funny. Very little. The dialogue is simplistic and far too minimal, the devouring scenes are predictable and overdone, the story is slow-paced, the makeup is more simplistic than the dialogue, most of the props seem pretty cheap and I’m personally tired of zombie films. They’ve been done to the death (no pun intended) and I felt disgusted from watching this filth.

Debating on the budget, I have to wonder how much they actually used, and if all of it really went into the production?

(Photo: Hasty Words)

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